(must read), mourinho's conversation with the prophet T. B Joshua on phone#

On the night of Monday, 5 October, 2015, the
Chelsea manager, Jose Mourinho, made a save-
my-job call to one of Nigeria’s foremost
preachers, Prophet Temitope Balogun Joshua.
Here is the transcript of the phone call.
Mourinho: Hello, Prophet?”
T.B. Joshua (clears throat): Emmaaaanuel.
Mourinho: I’m not Emmanuel, sir?
T.B. Joshua: I don’t mean your name is
Emmanuel. It’s our special way of greeting one
another at the Synagogue Church of all Nations.
Are you a charlatan? Weren’t you aware of our
“Emmanuel” salutation?
Mourinho (pause): I’m sorry, Prophet.
T.B. Joshua: Emmanuel means “God is with us.”
Mourinho: You’re right, Prophet.
T.B. Joshua: This is a foreign number. From
London, I guess.
Mourinho: You are correct, sir.
T.B. Joshua: Emmaaaanuel.
Mourinho: I’m not . . .
T.B. Joshua: May I know who you are?
Mourinho: Prophet, I am Jose Mourinho.
T.B. Joshua: Of Chelsea?
Mourinho: Yes, Prophet.
T.B. Joshua (raises his voice a notch): How are
yooooouuuuuu? Emmaaaaaaanuel.
Mourinho: I’m not fine, sir. I’m terribly sick.
T.B. Joshua (voice drops): Sick? What’s the
problem?
Mourinho (speech has an odd delay): Mental
lassitude, sir. I’m passing through the worst
moment of my coaching career. We’ve played
eight matches in the EPL and lost five of the
matches. My players are letting me down.
Chelsea are sixteenth on the league table. After
our 1-3 loss to Southampton last weekend, the
Chelsea board met and . . .
T.B. Joshua (cuts in): Hey, could you tell me what
exactly you want from me. I’m not Sky Sports. No
room for another seven minutes monologue.
Mourinho (works his tongue inside his cheek): I’m
sorry, sir. I’m overwhelmed by the abysmal
performance of my team this season. This is why
I’m pouring out my heart.
T.B. Joshua: Hmm.
Mourinho: After its meeting, the Board gave me a
stay of execution. But Prophet, I know it’s
temporary. If the team’s performance didn’t
improve in the next five, ten matches, the Board
would rescind his decision. Oh, Eden, Willian,
Barislav, Matic, Cesc! Now I know form is
temporal; class is permanent. Oh, Roman is a
crazy fella. . .
T.B. Joshua: I told you I’m not Sky Sports. I don’t
want your monologue.
Mourinho: Prophet, please take me as I am. Let
me utter those words as they stir in my belly.
Uttering them is therapeutic.
T.B. Joshua: Out of your belly shall flow rivers of
living water. That’s what the Bible says.
Mourinho: Please, permit me to express myself so
you’ll understand my plight. Prophet of the Most
High God. You are a true servant of God.
T.B. Joshua (ego surges): Okay, go on.
Emmaaaanuel.
Mourinho: Sir, Roman no dey look face.
T.B. Joshua (amazed): You just spoke in pidgin.
Wonderful!
Mourinho: Obi Mikel taught me, sir. By the way
sir, I’m a polyglot.
T.B. Joshua: You mean you have more than one
wife?
Mourinho: No, sir.
T.B. Joshua: You went to a polytechnic of football
coaching?
Mourinho: No, sir.
T.B. Joshua: You have a factory where you
produce polythene bags?
Mourinho: I don’t have any factory, sir. All I do is
managing football teams.
T.B. Joshua: But you said you’re a poly . . . poly . .
.
Mourinho: Polyglot. I mean that I speak more than
two languages. I speak English, Portuguese, Latin,
Spanish . . .
T.B. Joshua: Okay, okay. I’m a polyglot too. I
speak Yoruba and English. I also speak in
tongues. Supernatural language, you know.
Mourinho: Sir, I like to learn the supernatural
language. But I’m not sure if I can give
instructions to my players with the language. I’m
not sure if Costa, Ramires, Zouma and Cahill
would understand it.
T.B. Joshua: They will understand it if they are
full of the “Spirit.” Go on with your outpouring of
heart.
Mourinho: Thanks, sir. I was saying something
about Roman, the owner of Chelsea.
T.B. Joshua: I knew who you were talking about
when you mentioned Roman. Is it not “Baba
Olowo”?
Mourinho: Baba what?
T.B. Joshua: Chelsea fans in Nigeria call Roman
Abrahamovic” Baba Olowo.” Meaning a rich man.
Mourinho: Yes, sir. As I was saying, Roman is a
crazy fella. He has no respect for any coach in the
world. He has the same spirit as the late Jesús Gil.
T.B Joshua: Who was Jesús Gil? Who bore the
same name as my Lord and my Saviour Jesus
Christ?
Mourinho: He was the former President of Atletico
Madrid who during his tenure sacked the club’s
coaches at will. He employed 39 managers in 16
years. In 1993/94 season, he changed coaches six
times.
T.B. Joshua: What?! Why did he sack those
coaches?
Mourinho: Because he was a crazy President. He
loved doing odd things.
T.B. Joshua: Hmm. Well, he is no more alive, like
Oyingbo Jesus.
Mourinho: Who was Oyin-yingbo Jesus?
T.B. Joshua: Oh, you don’t know Jesu Oyingbo.
Mourinho: Yes, sir.
T.B. Joshua: you don’t have to know who he was
in his time. What you should know is that my
Master Jesus is alive. And all powers belong to
Him. Do you understand me?
Mourinho: Yes, sir.
T.B. Joshua: Proceed.
Mourinho: Roman is like Jesús.
T.B Joshua: Come on, don’t compare Roman with
Jesus Christ.
Mourinho: I mean Jesús Gil.
T.B. Joshua: It is better you call him Gills. The
only Jesus we should talk about is my Master
Jesus, okay? He is the One who gave me the
power and anointing to do miracles.
Unfortunately, some people, especially Nigerians,
still doubt the genuineness of my divine
anointing. They say my power is satanic.
Mourinho: A prophet has no honour in his
country.
T.B. Joshua: You’re right. I know the One who
commissioned me into ministry. I’m not moved by
the negative comments people make about me. A
mansion is guaranteed for me in heaven. You
were talking about Roman.
Mourinho: Yes, sir. Roman no dey look face. He
can sack any coach irrespective of the coach’s
credentials. He sacked me in 2007. He also sacked
world-class coaches like Scolari, Ancelloti and
Ranieri. (Voice quavers) Oh, Roman is a crazy
fella.
T.B Joshua: I thought you are not afraid of being
axed. You said so after Chelsea’s match against
Southampton.
Mourinho: Yes, I said so. Those journalists
wanted to see a panicky or dejected Jose
Mourinho, so I had to appear at the post-match
conference as a man who would not press the
panic button. I also had to encourage myself. You
know the Bible says when David was in a problem,
he encouraged himself in the Lord his God.
T.B. Joshua: Wow, you’ve just quoted the Bible. I
Samuel chapter 30 verse 6.
Mourinho: Prophet, I’ve started reading my Bible
diligently.
T.B Joshua: Are you really afraid of getting fired?