How I got my husband to want me at night, more than I did want him

The restaurant was very romantic.
We were both dressed in our finest, and Derek looked so debonair!
The lights were low, each table had its own candle, and there even
was a man walking around the tables playing soft, melodic music
on a violin.
We had invited our friends, Jim and Stephanie, to dinner. Well, okay,
that really isn't quite the whole story. I had heard about this
restaurant and really wanted to go there. My hope was that the
atmosphere might actually put my somewhat unromantic husband
into a romantic mood. But naturally I didn't want this strategy to be
so transparently obvious. Yes, I was just dying to experience the
romantic ambiance myself and see the effect I hoped it would have
on Derek--but, subtlety was called for.
Several months ago Stephanie had asked us over to their house for
dinner, and we had yet to reciprocate. What was wrong with killing
two birds with one stone?
The restaurant had been everything I'd dreamed it would be. How
could a man not be in a romantic mood after having dinner in that
atmosphere?
But...no sense leaving everything up to a man's rather dubious
ability, especially Derek's, to be moved by an incredibly romantic
atmosphere. So on the drive home, I reached over and rested my
hand on his shoulder, softly caressing his neck. Then I started
playing with his hair.
That should be enough of a hint as to what was on my mind. But
after this unforgettable evening, I didn't want to take any chances.
"This was such a romantic evening. Guess what I'm in the mood for
tonight," I whispered.
He gave me a quick glance and smiled.
"Why, Angie, I, um, can't imagine."
"Oh, yeah? Well, try real hard. Just let your imagination run wild.
We've got about ten more minutes before we get home."
I tried to make my voice seductive, but I never did have much
confidence in my skill along those lines.
As I've done so often in the past, my mind pictured a number of
romantic scenarios for when we got home. Like Derek coming up
from behind, putting his arms around me, and kissing my neck. Or
taking my hand gently in his and leading me into the bedroom. Or
actually sweeping me into his arms and carrying me into the
bedroom saying, "I just can't wait another minute to get you into
bed!"
Well, when we finally did got home, I puttered around doing things
that didn't need doing in order to give Derek every chance to make
some romantic move.
But he didn't.
I followed him when he finally went into the bedroom. My last hope
that tonight he might make the first move was to undress in front of
him.
Which I proceeded to do. I tried to do it slowly, and I did notice him
look at me a few times. But when I pulled on my nightshirt, he was
already getting onto the bed and under the covers.
Disappointment started to well up inside me, but after this beautiful
evening, I wasn't going to give in to it.
I crawled under the covers and snuggled up to Derek, putting one
arm under his shoulders and running my fingers up his inner thigh
with the other...higher and higher.
"So you couldn't figure out what I was in the mood for?"
He turned toward me and embraced me. We kissed passionately.
"I guess it's pretty clear now," he said in a husky voice. He leaned
down and kissed me again.
Then we made love.
Derek was already asleep beside me. Yes, our lovemaking is always
sweet and satisfying. But...why do I always have to initiate it?
Doesn't he have any desire for me? I had just had a heavenly time
with him in bed, but I still felt that familiar sadness that seems to
surface all too often.
The next day I couldn't get those questions out of my mind. They've
bothered me before, and I've felt this sadness before, but eventually
it fades, and my hope for the future builds up again. But this
time...well, the sadness was still lingering. I wanted so much for
him to...be more aggressive, to come after me, and show me he
really wants me...that he really desires me.
Sure, I can tell he enjoys making love, but not only do I obviously
want it more often than he does, it seems like I always have to
initiate it!
So I thought about that most of the day. What could I do to build up
his desire for me? To build up his desire for...well, sex!
Then I remembered reading somewhere that a wife who wants to
make love more often than her husband can increase his desire for
sex by being more seductive in the bedroom. Yeah, that was it: the
author--a woman, I think--said that not many men can keep from
getting aroused by a sexually stimulating wife.
Wow! Is that what I need to be? I had always thought that just by
being female, a wife should automatically drive her husband wild
with desire. Of course, our marriage experience certainly seemed to
contradict that notion. So maybe I really do need to be sexier in the
way I act and dress at home, especially in the bedroom.
Still...it's difficult, isn't it? There's just that feeling deep inside you
that says "good girls" don't try to look and act sexy. But of course
my head tells me, and that marriage book tells me, that in marriage
there's nothing wrong with that. And in my case, it just might be the
solution.
So maybe that's just what I'll do. Yeah, instead of wearing an old,
baggy T-shirt to bed, I'll get something really sexy. Some flowing
nightgown maybe. No. That covers too much. I need to be more
risque. Something short-- very short--and silky, with ruffles.
Absolutely! That's what I want: a baby doll nightgown.
I got on the Internet and started searching, my excitement building
every minute.
What I saw surprised me, though, and it seemed to me that these
baby doll styles were more crassly gaudy than sexy. They all had
those silly-looking spaghetti straps, and most of them just had a
single clasp or bow holding them together in the front--with just
about everything showing! What's left for the male imagination?
No, this wouldn't do. To find something really sexy, maybe I needed
to go back a few years. I knew there were a number of "vintage"
Web sites.
More searching.
Yes, now here's more what I had in mind. The site was called
"Hooked on Vintage," run by someone named Lisa. It had an
enchanting baby doll nightgown from the Sixties.
The description made it sound as good as the picture:
"An adorable vintage 1960's pajama set by Virginia Wallace. It was
made in a super short, very full flared style with sheer puffed
sleeves. It is trimmed in delicate, soft white lace and pink satin
ribbon. The scoop neckline is accented with tiny embroidered
rosebuds."
Hmmm...one problem, though. It had matching bloomers.
Bloomers? They used to be pretty common, I guess, with baby dolls,
but no, I don't think so...
Here's the answer! Right on the same page--and bright red too!
Let's see how Lisa describes these:
"A flirty pair of vintage panties by Vanity Fair. They were made in
stunning sheer red Tricot nylon and chantilly lace insets."
"Flirty." "Lace." That's what I'm looking for. And besides, being
bright red, these panties will probably project a very teasing
silhouette under the nightgown. That ought to get Derek's
imagination going. He'll just have to get a "closer look," won't he?
I placed the order.
When the order came, I planned the evening very carefully. To my
way of thinking, a candlelight dinner with all the trimmings (incense,
soft music, etc.) would certainly get me in a romantic mood. But
I've learned that it has little effect on Derek. Let's see, what else
could I do? What would a guy want for a special evening with his
lovely and charming wife? Yeah, probably order a pizza and watch a
Van Damme movie! Well, maybe the pizza's not a bad idea. But a
Van Damme movie? No way! Not even I'd be in the mood after that!
We'll watch a romantic movie, but one that has a guy-interest too. I
know just the one: "Sleepless in Seattle." It's a romantic movie, and I
like it, but it also has a few scenes that guys can definitely identify
with--like where Sam and his friend--what was his name?--make fun
of the friend's wife for getting so emotional over that "chick movie,"
"An Affair to Remember." Yeah, Derek always liked that scene.
To get myself ready, I spent a lot of time on my hair--washing it,
setting it in curlers, and trimming my bangs and the hair around my
ears. Then I put on one of my prettier "casual" dresses. As I looked
at myself in full-length the mirror, everything seemed to be just
right.
The evening went, to use Annie's phrase, "like clockwork." The
movie was still going when we finished the pizza, and I snuggled up
close to Derek. The dress I'd chosen was pretty short, and I made
sure plenty of thigh showed when I pulled my legs up onto the sofa.
Derek actually look down at my knees and put his arm around me!
I felt so happy. Maybe tonight would be the night. How would he try
to seduce me?
When it came time for bed, I hurried to get my new baby doll
nightgown on while Derek was still in the bathroom. When he came
into the bedroom, I made it a point to be standing in front of the
mirror brushing my hair. Raising my arms would pull the gown up
even higher. When he walked in, I could tell that he stopped abruptly
and looked at me. My heart started beating faster.
"Angie, you got a new nightgown."
"Do you like it?"
"Yeah, you look really cute in it."
Just what I wanted to hear! Well...maybe he could have come up
with something a little more passionate, but at least his mind was
moving in the right direction.
I had purposely left some of the clothes I'd just taken off lying about
the floor. That way I could move around the room and...bend over a
few times. Will he lose all control and attack me?
But as I picked up my shoes to put them in the closet, I could see
that he was getting into bed and pulling up the covers.
Stunned! Shattered! I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't believe it!
My heart suddenly was aching. I had had such high hopes.
Well, this time I wasn't going to initiate anything! I got into bed and
just lay there...maybe there was still hope.
No. Derek did nothing. He didn't even put his arm around me.
I turned over onto my side as I felt my eyes tearing.
The next day I felt so empty. What could be wrong with me? Men
are supposed to be oversexed. I know I really couldn't compete in
the Miss America Contest, but I'm not ugly. Guys used to find me
cute when I was dating. Heck, Derek finds me cute--he's told me--
and he told me again last night! So what could it be? I've got a
pretty good figure too. No, I don't think I could become a Victoria's
Secret model, but I haven't gone to fat either!
I wonder if I'm the only wife that has this problem? I hear wives
complain all the time about how often their husbands are after
them--a lot more often than they're in the mood.
I just don't understand Derek. He enjoys it when we make love, but I
want him to take the initiative, at least once in a while. Is there
anything wrong with that? I want to feel...wanted, desired. I know I
probably want sex more often than he does, but he should want me
enough to come on to me at least some of the time.
I was still hurting inside, and the next few days were pretty dreary.
Then when I was doing some surfing on romantic Web sites, a came
across a comment by a wife that hit me like a ton of bricks:
"I'm the type who loves the marriage bed, more than my husband.
Its time to make him ask for it."
Of course! Maybe that's what's going on! I "love the marriage bed"
more than Derek does, so I get things going as often as I can. But
what does that mean? It means he never has to do it himself! He
can get all he needs, and probably more than he wants, by letting
me to all the..."work." Then I'm always left wondering if he has any
desire for me at all.
Well, what if I stopped initiating it?
I'll play with him, I'll tease him, but I won't start any lovemaking. I've
just got to believe that he has too much red blood in him to do
without sex entirely. So from now on, he'll just have to come to me
to get it.
Yes, that means that at least for a while, I'll have to go without it
too. But if this works, it'll be worth it.
If fact, once his need finally reaches a point where he has to act, I
just might make him wait a little longer. I think I've heard that men
like a challenge. Plus, it'll have a psychological effect--the
"forbidden fruit." The "fruit" is more desirable because it's
"forbidden." All this ought to really build up his desire!
Oh! I just thought of a problem. I've read that a wife should never
use sex as a weapon or withhold it as a punishment--and I've
always believed that too. Is that what I'd be doing?
No. I'm doing this because I want to make our marriage better. I've
felt so hurt for so long, I can't really be the wife I want to be. And if
this does build up his desire, he'll enjoy our love life a lot more too.
Oh, I'll probably never get to make love as often as I'd like, but at
least I'll feel the joy of having him come after me for a change.
"Operation Deprivation" will begin immediately!
Around the house, I wore short skirts. I wore leggings so tight they
looked like they were painted on. I wore tight sweaters. And every
other night or so, I wore my new baby doll nightgown, complete
with lacy, red panties peaking out with a frequency I hoped would
produce a very disturbing effect on the male equilibrium.
I also displayed my usual affection. I'd walk by Derek and squeeze
his shoulder or mess up his hair. I'd snuggle up close to him both
on the sofa and in bed.
But I never made any sexual advance.
A week went by. I began to feel like climbing the walls, I wanted him
so badly. But I was determined.
Another week went by. How could he stand it? I was almost ready
to explode. We'd never before gone so long without making love,
and I was beginning to think I'd have to give in.
But finally, it happened.
We had been to see a movie. In the theater, Derek took my hand in
his and held it. Usually, that was "my job." On the way to the car in
the parking lot, he put his arm around my waist. What he did next
almost made me quiver with excitement: just at the door of the car,
he dropped his hand down to my derriere and began feeling me, as
if to discover what wonders might be hidden under my skirt.
"That was a pretty nice movie, don't you think, Angie?" Derek asked
as we drove home.
"Yeah, it was. I love movies with happy endings--especially when
the hero gets the girl--and they live happily ever after!"
He turned and smiled at me. "That's a good point. I've always
believed a little romance makes an action film even better."
Derek talking about what's romantic? Could tonight be the night he
just can't stand it any longer? Would I have the willpower to carry
out part two of my plan?
We got home and when it was finally time for bed, Derek walked
into the bedroom right behind me. When I sat down on the bed to
pull off my shoes, he got on behind me and wrapped his arms
around me. He caressed my breasts and then moved his hands up
to massage my shoulders.
My head went back and my eyes closed. I had all to do to keep from
moaning. I don't know if I can do this. I just don't know if I can
resist. I wanted to turn around and jump on him.
"It's been a while since we've made love," he said. "I thought
maybe...you know..."
He seemed nervous, but then he wasn't very practiced at this sort of
thing, was he? My own emotions could hardly be described by the
word "nervous."
"...maybe we could make love tonight."
I mustered every bit of willpower I could.
Standing up and letting his arms drop, I said, "No, Derek, not
tonight." I said it as nicely and as sweetly as I could.
"Not tonight!" He sounded dumbfounded. "But you're always in the
mood. You mean you don't want to make love tonight?"
"Well..." If he only knew how much I wanted to! "...I don't exactly
mean that. I just want to wait."
"Oh."
I stole a glance at him. There was no doubt about it. He was
absolutely dumbfounded.
"Oh. Well, okay." Now I detected real disappointment. I wanted to
take him in my arms so badly, but I really believed what I was doing
was for the best.
He started to undress. I turned to watch him as I did the same. Then
I put on my baby doll nightgown. He couldn't take his eyes off me.
Once we were in bed, he put his arm around me and snuggled up so
close I could hardly breathe. He ran his hand down my side,
ostensibly to straighten my nightgown, but I think he really wanted
to feel those panties.
I just closed my eyes and prayed for sleep before I completely lost
control. When I finally did fall asleep, it was still in his arms and it
was definitely with the thought that my plan was working, and
working better than my wildest expectations.
The next two days I continued my sexy antics around the house, but
Derek made no new advances. I began to worry.
But on the third night...
Derek came home from work and handed me a box of candy.
Apparently, he wasn't worried about my figure!
"Oh, Derek, you're so sweet!"
After I set the box on a nearby table, he put his arms around me
and kissed me.
"Well, I wanted to do something nice for you tonight."
I wondered--had he really thought out a strategy? Was he trying to
get me in the mood tonight?
After dinner, he helped me clear the table and then invited me over
to watch one of our favorite movies on DVD. During the movie, I sat
close to him, and he couldn't keep his hands off me. The movie
wasn't about heaven, but I sure thought I was in heaven!
Later when we walked into the bedroom, he said, "Angie, why don't
you put on that sexy baby doll nightgown?"
What should I say? I couldn't think of anything to say! Why wasn't
my brain functioning?
So I said nothing but did manage to look at him and smile. His eyes
were glued to me as I removed every item of clothing and put on
the baby doll nightgown. Could I see fire in his eyes?
Once I had it on, I turned to him. What would he do next?
"Okay," he said, "lay down on the bed. I'm going to give you a
sensuous massage."
I obediently did as I was told, lying on my stomach and reaching up
to wrap my arms around the pillow. I knew that would pull this short
nightgown well above my waist, exposing a lot of red! I wondered
what he was thinking.
He began massaging my shoulders, back, and sides. While his
hands were around me, they slipped under me and began
"massaging"...well, certain parts of my anatomy that a masseur
wouldn't dare touch. This time, I think I was moaning.
He next went down to my legs. Wrapping his hands around one, he
worked his way up higher and higher, finally touching and teasing
my...well, you get my drift.
I began squirming on the bed and finally he turned me over and
lifted the nightgown off over my head. Only my panties were left,
and he removed them with loving caresses. Then...
We made really passionate love.
Afterward, I was so happy, I could almost cry. We finally fell asleep
in each other's arms.
The days and weeks rolled by, and our marriage, especially our love
life, was absolutely transformed!
Oh, yes: I'd been right about one thing. We still didn't have sex as
often as I really wanted it or even as often as we used to have it
when I was doing everything. But I still occasionally tease him and
say "no" just so he's more romantic the next time he tries--which I
think we both really enjoy! Oh, yeah: I still initiate sex, but only after
waiting until we've made love at least two or three times with Derek
taking the lead.
All my dreams have come true. What a wonderful feeling it is to
be... desired!
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